One-eyed footy fan laments the ‘banana republics’ of SA clubs
Port member and barrister Patrick McCabe reveals a “dirty secret” behind his beloved club and the Crows that leaves fans with only one solution – a revolution.
With Port Adelaide Football Club’s annual board elections recently concluded, Port member and barrister Patrick McCabe laments what he calls the “banana republics” that are the SA-based footy clubs.
Like most Port fans, there is nothing I enjoy more than calling the Crows a “franchise”.
Port, a real club, was built by and for the community over generations of honest working-class folk, bound together by a love of our great game and the camaraderie of a shared destiny. On the other hand, the Crows were created in a courtroom by the SANFL in collaboration with the VFL, in thrall to the almighty dollar.
But unfortunately Port has a dirty secret it would prefer not to tell us – it turns out Port is a franchise too. In fact, even franchise is a bit generous. Your local McDonald’s franchise enjoys an autonomy the once-mighty Port Adelaide Football Club can now only dream of.
To explain what I mean, let’s compare and contrast. First, there is Collingwood. Its constitution allows its members to vote for all its board directors and to attend and vote at general meetings. Under Collingwood’s constitution, you can’t even hold a valid annual general meeting unless at least 75 people show up.
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That’s what a real club is all about – ordinary members truly run the show. If the members don’t like what the board is doing, they can sack them. If decisions are made the members don’t like, they can be overruled in a general meeting. The general meeting is a big noisy hall’s worth of passionate partisans holding the current stewards of their beloved club accountable to its traditions. It’s democracy at work, in all the best ways.
What does Port’s constitution say? Well it’s a bit different. Like a real club, the Port Adelaide Football Club has members too (of which I am one). But that’s where the similarities end. You see, there’s a name that unexpectedly pops up again and again in the Port Constitution. Is it Russell Ebert? Fos Williams? No. It’s the AFL.
The Port Adelaide Football Club has nine board directors, all appointed by the AFL, not the members. The one thing Port members can do is “nominate” (not elect) two out of nine of these directors. If the AFL likes our suggestions, it may appoint those people to the club’s board. But if the AFL doesn’t like our nominations, Clause 12.7 leaves no doubt that: “The AFL may in its absolute discretion decline to approve the appointment [of] a Club nominee.” As for the other seven directors, the AFL can appoint whoever they want, for as long as they want, no questions asked.
OK, so the AFL maintains an iron grip on the board. But the members can hold them accountable at general meetings, right? Wrong. The constitution is not a subtle or polite document. It does not bother to hide what values it places on the views of the Alberton faithful.
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Clause 9.5 states that, apart from our right to ‘nominate’ 2 directors, otherwise: Club Members … have no right to vote in connection with any other resolution put to [a general] meeting or to participate in any discussion relating to any other business at the Annual General Meeting …”
Not only do we not get a vote, the constitution goes so far as to ban us from daring to open our mouths at an AGM. The American Constitution gives its citizens the right of freedom of speech. The Australian Constitution has an implied freedom of political speech. But the Port Adelaide Constitution may be the first constitution in world history to effectively ban free speech. That’s a bridge too far even for the constitution of North Korea.
Why even bother rocking up to such a ridiculous charade of an AGM? Well, it seems that as far as the powers that be are concerned, all the better if you don’t. While Collingwood requires 75 true believers to roll in before you can even kick things off, the Port Constitution isn’t worried if absolutely no members show up. All you need for a valid general meeting is five board directors. Yes, five of them sitting around a table is all it takes. We may as well move the AGM from Alberton to AFL House at Marvel Stadium.
Apologists might say this is the price you pay to play at the highest level in 2026. In the eyes of the AFL, it appears quaint notions of community control are all a bit nineteenth-century, and have no place in our ultra-professionalised modern world. In today’s world, you can’t trust the members – they’ll probably elect a bunch of clueless ex-players and amateur fanatics. You need the AFL to appoint accountants, lawyers, consultants, or the club will go down the toilet.
Well, Collingwood members retain complete control over their club, and it (mostly) gets on just fine. The only time the Collingwood constitution even bothers to notice there is something called the AFL is to say that if you win the AFL Brownlow Medal, you’re eligible for life membership. What’s more, they’re not alone. All the other Victorian clubs, as well as Brisbane, have similar constitutions, enjoying their full-blown democracy while they sneer at us quaint provincials indulging ourselves pretending we too have a proper club.
So, shall we Port fans rise up and campaign to change the constitution? Sorry, our AFL overlords have already thought of that. Clause 7 is entitled “Consent of the AFL”, and this extraordinary clause says: “Subject to any law to the contrary, … any special resolution of Members amending or repealing and replacing this Constitution shall have no force or effect without the prior written consent to such amendment or repeal and replacement from the AFL.”
So there is no hope for reform. There is only one option left – revolution! The good news is we have comrades in the trenches. While they might be unpleasant bedfellows, the Crows are subject to a similar constitution, as are Sydney, GWS and Gold Coast. At Fremantle and West Coast, the situation is a little more complicated but also similar.
Surely, at the bare minimum, us South Australian fans should rise up and push for Andrew Dillon and his mates to trust us with voting for all our own directors. It’s the very least the AFL could do if it wants to retain some semblance of credibility to the notion that our national competition is more than WWE-style entertainment between performers whose strings are all ultimately pulled by the same puppet-master.
Patrick McCabe is an Adelaide barrister and Port fan who has worked with many non-profit organisations.
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