Robots, romance and reality: The new era of sextech
Our resident sexologist explores how AI is changing the dating game and the world of sextech, its potential and pitfalls.
I had the privilege of MCing a recent Sexology in Symposium conference where sexologists from all over Australia explored the intersections of sexuality, culture and technology. Among these fascinating topics, one presentation caught my attention: Robots, Romance, and Reality: The New Era of Sextech by Bryony Cole.
A pioneer in the sextech space, and founder of online platform ‘The Future of Sex’, Cole’s insights into artificial intelligence and its impact on human intimacy ignited questions in me that I haven’t been able to shake since I saw her. So, I called her up this week wanting more.
Sextech – technology designed to enhance sexuality – has rapidly expanded and spans tools from AI dating coaches to sexual health apps and virtual dating companions. One of the most intriguing and divisive developments in this space is the rise of AI-powered companionship and relationship apps, many of which are now dominating the market.
Bryony shared some astonishing data during her talk. Eight of the top 50 new generative AI consumer apps are focused on relationships, intimacy and companionship.
Take Replika, for example, a customisable AI chatbot designed to serve as a boyfriend or girlfriend. In just a year, its user base tripled from 10 million to over 30 million. Similarly, apps like Blush AI and Spicy Chat have popped up too, creating virtual spaces where users can simulate romantic or sexual interactions.
UNSW professor Rob Brooks tried Replika’s AI companion and said it’s not hard to understand why so many have gotten attached to it. This picture: Rob Brooks/The Conversation
There are even niche apps out there too, like LooksMax AI and uMax branded to “find out how hot you are”. These apps analyse your photos, provide attractiveness ratings, and generate idealised images of users. Basically, they tell you all the ways you can look hotter on your profile.
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So, what drives people to engage with AI for companionship?
Loneliness, accessibility and curiosity are definitely part of the equation.
The World Health Organisation found that one in four adults experience loneliness and social isolation. AI can offer undivided attention, perfect responses, and 24/7 availability. Things humans, with all our imperfections and limitations, cannot. But should we have to? and what are we sacrificing in return?
As a sexologist, it’s hard not to consider the emotional, sexual and ethical implications of new technologies. AI companionship challenges the boundaries of intimacy.
Does the performance of empathy and connection equal real intimacy? Machines don’t feel emotions, they analyse data and generate responses. If we replace human connections with AI, do we risk losing the messy, unpredictable and deeply fulfilling aspects of real relationships?
Some alarm bells go off, and these technologies raise critical ethical concerns.
For instance, how do apps like Replika and Blush handle potentially harmful interactions? If someone uses the app for violent or abusive fantasies, where do we draw the line between freedom of expression and ethical responsibility? While companies might implement safeguards, there’s little consensus on how to regulate such complex and sensitive issues and we all know that government responds slowly to legislative reform on technologies.
Bryony raised a good point when we spoke on the phone: How much synthetic intimacy are we comfortable with?
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It’s a question that goes beyond technology, tapping into our values and priorities as humans.
There’s no denying the appeal of AI intimacy. I get it, It’s convenient and tailored to individual needs. For those navigating heartbreak, loneliness or social anxiety, these apps can provide solace and even build confidence. Some apps even double as therapeutic tools, analysing text messages or offering advice for personal relationships.
But at what cost? Human connections, by nature, are imperfect and unpredictable. Heartbreak is a painful yet transformative and, arguably, a necessary experience. To me, it’s a beautiful part of the human experience.
Without the risk of emotional vulnerability, are we stunting our emotional growth? If we rely on AI for companionship, will we lose patience with the imperfections of real relationships? Will our expectations of partners become skewed by interactions with perfect AI alternatives?
Some questions for you:
- What do we want from our relationships? Are we seeking genuine connection or instant gratification?
- Would you consider your partner using an AI relationship robot cheating?
- Could these apps complement relationships instead of replacing them?
- What’s the line between exploration and escape, and expressing a fantasy safely online vs facilitating potential dangerous behaviours?
- Do you think heartbreak is necessary for growth?
- If you could choose to never experience heartbreak again, dating only in a virtual realm, would you?
These are not easy questions to answer.
But as Bryony aptly pointed out, technology is a mirror for humanity. It reflects our desires, insecurities and aspirations. By understanding our relationship with technology we could gain deeper insights into ourselves.
I still grapple with these ideas.
The world of sextech is exciting and terrifying, full of potential and pitfalls. For me, the question is less about whether we should adopt these technologies and more about how we do so responsibly. Who is responsible for its effect on culture and humanity?
Whether through AI or human connection, the answer will shape not just the future of sextech but the future of our relationships, culture and sex lives.
What kind of intimacy do you want in your life?
Jamie Bucirde has a postgraduate degree in sexology from Curtin University. Her advice is of a general nature and should be taken in the spirit of the column.
Have you got sexual health, sex, love or relationship questions? Send them to jamie@onthecusp.au to have them answered.
Read the entire back catalogue of On the Cusp here.