The music festival that shall not be named | Not April Fools, just foolish | A baked cross too far
This week InSider speculates on a music festival returning to the park lands, reveals our least favourite April Fools jokes and dares to ask have Hot Cross Buns gone too far?
Could Harvest Rock be back?
This week, a confidential item on the Adelaide City Council’s meeting calendar took InSider’s fancy, named ‘Arts and Culture Music Festival 2025, Bartels Road Closure’.
After a quick search of the OurAdelaide website, which the council uses to consult the public, we found out an event organiser has applied to stage the two-day festival in Rymill Park, King Rodney Park and on a portion of Bartels Road. It says the festival is “yet to be announced” but features “Australian and international artists and with a focus on showcasing South Australian produce”.
Now, what music festival, with a focus on showing off local food and wine, would disturb the peace of residents on Bartels Road between East Terrace and Dequetteville Terrace with a week-long road closure? Hmm…
Before the double doors shut on our whistful reporter and the other victims of Town Hall Tuesdays, Councillor Mary Couros told the meeting she thought the topic should be out in the public for discussion, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Harvest Rock, sorry, arts and culture music festival’s potential return remains a poorly-kept secret shrouded in newsroom speculation from Waymouth to Grenfell Street.
What we know so far is that the community were consulted on a six-day road closure with two different options for the festival weekend: either Saturday October 25 and Sunday October 26 or Saturday November 1 and Sunday November 2. So if the event is to return, those will be the springtime dates to mark on your calendar.
In August last year, festival organisers officially axed the 2024 iteration of Harvest Rock, and it later came out in parliament that the festival organisers were unable to secure a headliner.
It was the fourth festival run by the promoter Secret Sounds that was cancelled in 2024, joining Splendour in the Grass, Falls Festival and Spilt Milk. Other South Australian festivals that pulled the plug for 2024 and 2025 include touring festival Groovin’ the Moo, and we’ve had radio silence on the Vintage Vibes front since its 2024 iteration was said to be ‘postponed’ but no new dates resurfaced.
InSider asked the state government if Harvest Rock would return to Rymill and King Rodney Parks in 2025, if they’re still working with Secret Sounds (which is partially owned by Live Nation) and if the landscape for festivals has improved since its last iteration was cancelled.
We – unsurprisingly – didn’t get our answers.
What we were told by a spokesperson is that “the state government is committed to supporting Harvest Rock and is working with organisers and hopes there will be more to say soon”.
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We hope so too, and while you’re at it, can we suggest you spotlight as many local musicians as you do wines?
Fool me once…
Being on the receiving end of news alerts on April 1 can be a scary place, especially when the news itself is so bizarre. Some genuine headlines from the day – that we had to check weren’t an April Fools joke – include individual cigarette sticks being branded with cancer warnings because apparently seeing gangrenous toes and cancerous lungs on every other piece of cigarette packaging isn’t enough.
We live in a world where a magazine editor was sent war plans by the Trump Administration in a Signal group chat and the Prime Minister used the phrase “delulu with no solulu” in Parliament, so whether we really needed the ritual of April 1 this year is debatable.
Though we had our favourites, we naturally had our least favourites too. So, without further ado, InSider’s three most foolish:
3. FUIC fountain
Federal Liberal candidate for Adelaide, Amy Grantham, is on the campaign trail and thinks replacing water with iced coffee in the Victoria Square Fountain will boost her odds.
Like all good SA reporters, half our bloodstream is iced coffee and we wouldn’t dare slander the iconic brand. But from a purely aesthetic perspective, well…ew.
2. FruCrocs
Menz announced a limited edition footwear line, which we must admit is peak foolishness. However, we’ve included this in our bottom three because you would not catch InSider dead in a pair of crocs, no matter how many tasty chocs you bribe us with. To quote the Australian Financial Review’s correct fashion editor, if “sweatpants are a sign of defeat, then Crocs are the footwear version of lying down in the street and not so much as raising a hand as a truck runs over you”.
1. Trev’s honey-flavoured Fruchocs
Oh come on, that bloody bearded bee is baiting us. The chimeric mascot is on full display with his third and fourth human hands resting on his skinny bee knees. According to the media release that InSider received a whopping six times (yes, we saw it, we wish we didn’t), it was “the answer to numerous requests by members for Trev-themed chocolates”. We can only imagine those requests came from people who want to munch down on Trev’s tiny body and see him wiped from SA once and for all.
Speaking of April Fools…
Stay informed, daily
Early this week, the Malinauskas government announced its highly anticipated 10-year arts and culture policy, dubbed ‘A Place to Create’.
Arts South Australia will rebrand to ‘CreateSA’ because nothing says ‘we care about this more than sport’ like a new name and logo. They naturally wanted to share the news far and wide on social media, but clearly their social media manager was asleep at the wheel.
That link spot is as empty as the dusty North Terrace block that’s supposed to home Tarrkarri, a once-promised national Aboriginal arts and culture gallery.
Is it just me or…
Have hot cross buns gone too far?
It’s not enough that iterations of the buns have lined supermarket shelves for months prior to the holiday, independent bakeries have joined the bun revolution.
South Australia’s Kytons Bakery is continuing its Menz Fruchocs collaboration and introducing a personalised version of their traditional variety for all your edible branding needs. Bakers Delight has debuted raspberry and white chocolate buns.
Meanwhile, Frankly Bagels is now offering a ‘hot cross bun bagel’ (yes, with a hole). Given the bagels’ origins stem from Jewish communities in Poland, a faith that doesn’t recognise Easter, this was an interesting and – shall we say – diplomatic choice of bun crossover.
And, only this week, Bottega Bandito teased a tiramisu flavour, with a creamy centre and chocolate chips.
Now InSider can’t begrudge the local players having their fun and trying to create the next viral sweet treat too much, our real problem is with the supermarket giants churning out flavours and raking in the dough.
When we say Christmas barely ended before hot cross buns invaded shelves, we mean that literally because it was December 26, 2024, when Woolworths announced the return of its “fan-favourite” flavours. We have to ask: who are the fans?
Through the use of spices and a decorative cross, the sweet and commonly fruit-filled buns symbolise a significant day in the Christian faith. However, on a recent trip to the supermarket, InSider came across Coles x Arnott’s Wagon Wheel and Iced Vovo-inspired varieties — plus a savoury Vegemite and Cheese version that claims to “taste like Australia.”
Wagon Wheel buns boast marshmallow flavours with raspberry jellies and chocolate chunks, while Iced Vovo buns feature white chocolate, raspberry fudge and coconut. The Vegemite and Cheese bun? Think Vegemite scroll, but with parmesan and a “tasty cheese topping”.
Not to be outdone, Woolies has revived Fairy Bread, Cadbury Caramilk and Biscoff-filled buns. The Fairy Bread version — a white chocolate funfetti bun — comes with a sachet of hundreds and thousands. Because nothing says Easter like sprinkles.
But the supermarket giant’s real crime here is a limited edition “hot cross bun mudcake”. The cake is described as lightly spiced, with plump sultanas and a spiced ganache − it doesn’t even have a cross!
Now, InSider is not a total party-pooper. We can get on board with apple and cinnamon, maybe chocolate. But slapping a flour paste cross on a baked good doesn’t constitute the title of ‘hot cross bun’.
A line must be drawn somewhere! Tell us what you think the limit should be (if there is one). And hey, if you have a bun we just have to review, why not send it to our office at 165 Grenfell Street?
