This week: what politicians really mean by “commitment”, the new “6 o’clock swill”, Uber moves and much more.
Vote #1 – stoicism
Ah Mick Atkinson – political life wouldn’t be the same without him.
The Member for Croydon and Speaker of the House of Assembly has been going through the election profiles of candidates for the upcoming local government elections – and he doesn’t like what he sees.
He tweeted this summary: “‘Passionate’ is the cliche of 2014 local-government poll (see election profiles at LGASA). Vote for candidates with stoicism and restraint!”
After having a browse ourselves, we think he’s slightly off-beam: we think “commitment” is the cliche of the year, particularly among mayoral candidates.
And we all know what “commitment” really means.
As Don Watson puts it in his brilliant book Death Sentence: The Decay of Public Language: “Commitment is the worst kind of politician’s word. To say they are committed to something does not mean they believe it (If they did, why not say so?); or that they will do it (If they will, why not do so?). It is a standard weasel word, a weed which spread with the fashion for mission statements, new management theories and sports psychology.”
7.30 swill
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The Adelaide City Council wants a blanket dry zone over the parklands from 8pm to 1pm every day in response to drinking in the south parklands which is disturbing local residents and businesses.
Well, not quite “blanket”.
People will be able to drink to their heart’s content at any number of licensed events within the bounds of the parklands: organic Tempranillo at WOMADelaide, perhaps; a fine back vintage at Adelaide’s Oval’s Hill of Grace restaurant; a refreshing local cider at CheeseFest; a can of froth at the Clipsal; and so on and so forth.
In the south parklands, however, the move seems certain to encourage multi-generational alcohol addicts to slug down as much booze as they can before the 8pm cut-off comes around.
And they won’t have to bother setting a soothing alarm on their new iPhone 6, or glance at their gold Rolex: council chief executive Peter Smith said today that a bus would be sent around to “encourage” the boozers to move off to a nicer place.
If they don’t move, their booze will be poured out.
Smith says the drinkers are likely to respect the dry zone because they don’t want to lose their alcohol.
Sounds like a plan.
Ambos against median strips
While we’re on the council, there was a report this week that ambulance officers had joined the chorus against the poor, unloved Frome Street bike lanes.
Ambo union spokesman Phil Palmer told the dear old Tiser that “we are not opposed to bike lanes, we are just opposed to concrete barriers, which don’t allow drivers any flexibility. It could potentially slow down a response while they find ways around the traffic and bike lane. There is an inherent risk.”
We look forward to Phil calling for the removal of all concrete median strips, gutters, kerbs, safety barriers and, most important of all, the widening of all of Adelaide’s single-lane roads to include a compulsory two lanes in each direction.
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Uber ineffective
The State Government’s threats of legal action Uber don’t seem to be having much impact.
The booking app, which threatens traditional taxi services, continues to link up customers with drivers in Adelaide.
This week the Uber people gained some more political support, with the SA Young Liberals passing a motion in favour of Uber and calling on their grown-up colleagues in Parliament to remove restrictive regulation.
We hear that at last one grown-up politician in Parliament – not a Liberal – is working on legislative moves to free Uber from the dead hand of the Passenger Transport Act, which is so outdated that it should be written on papyrus with a reed pipped in soot and honey.
Birthing for charity
The dear old Tiser took a small article from the Daily Telegraph’s trashy gossip column, Sydney Confidential, today which makes an astounding claim.
It’s a report about supermodel Megan Gale’s “first day back at work”.
“The model, 31, yesterday made her first official work appearance at David Jones in Sydney since giving birth this year for Shop Pink Day – and all she really needed to do was sport the branded T,” the article says.
Now that is commitment to the charity.
Innovation, Tiger style
This one is a long way from The Outsider’s own back yard, but we tip our hat to the global golfing superstar Tiger Woods.
According to the Palm Beach Post, Tiger has developed an amazing concept in community conviviality called “The Woods Jupiter: Sports and Dining Club” due to open in 2015.
Woods told the paper that community is important to him.
“I envision a place where people can meet friends, watch sports on TV and enjoy a meal,” Woods said.
“I wanted to build it locally where I live and where it could help support the community.”
In Australia, we call this “going to the pub”.
The Outsider appears in InDaily every Friday, digging into places where we’re not welcome, and probing Adelaide’s obsessions.
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